Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
