You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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