but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize