i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
