I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
