I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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