That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The uberlube is also flammable
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
