I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
