Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize