She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."