he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.