Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
