Cold hands, warm shart.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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