real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
