He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
