the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
