i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
zippers are such a cool invention
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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