His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.