We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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