He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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