i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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