I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
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by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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