Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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