Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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