is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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