Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
