either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
