we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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