Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
