yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
