i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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