I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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