your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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