I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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