actually, I'm a sock model
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
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Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
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Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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