Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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