I heard we made out
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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