puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
