what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
