we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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