whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
