Buhtt sex?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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