I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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