In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
