exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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