Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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