I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
