Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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