if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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