the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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