What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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