the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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