in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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