I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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