See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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