:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish you could order shots online.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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