erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
