I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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