I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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