i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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